Chemotherapy's Weirder Side Effects ( 19 )

Chemo comes with its share of common side effects such as nausea, vomiting, hair loss, loss of appetite, mouth sores, fatigue, etc.  Yet, there are also side effects you would never have thought of.

Eye tearing. Read it's a side effect from Taxotere. It's been almost 3 weeks since my last and final chemo treatment and the waterworks are driving me crazy.  In addition, I wake up each morning with a gritty goop in the inside corners of my eyes. A washcloth dipped in warm water cleans things up very well. I started using Visine multi symptom and it seems to help quite a bit.

            To keep my eyes company, my nose runs constantly. Also a side effect from Taxotere.

The cough. It started with my 3rd chemo treatment and is still around.  It's a dry, non-productive annoyance.  Chest and lungs are clear, but the tickle has stayed.

                                                    Fingernails and

toenails are funky looking.  Thin bands on the surface of my fingernails. My toenails ... my big toes just look gross! None lifting or falling off thankfully. You guessed it. Taxotere.

Vision changes.  Sometimes things get blurry.  I wear glasses, so I'm always adjusting them.

My sense of smell has fully come back ... but taste? Well, some things still taste yucky.  I'm either adding sugar or salt.  I was told taste takes quite awhile to return to normal.  

I didn't lose a lot of weight, nor did I gain.  I pretty much stayed the same. I have to say though, sometimes my legs feel like they are made of ... lead. 

Though not a weird side effect, my eyebrows and eyelashes have thinned considerably. A little mascara easily thickens the eyelashes. The weird part though ... concerns my eyebrows.  I've been been filling them in and they look better now then before!

Chemo ... farts ... are deadly.  That's all I'm gonna say.

Gotta say, 17 days since my final chemo and I feel really good!

Had My 4th And Last Chemo Treatment Today ( 18 )

I had my 4th and last Chemo treatment today. Four treatments might not seem like many, but Chemo is extremely tough on the body, mind, and spirit. I can't imagine how some people can endure a year's worth of Chemo. I am so glad it's over. 

At the Cancer Center where I received my treatments, there is a brass bell in the main hallway with a small plaque behind it. Every patient is encouraged to ring the bell 3 times when their Chemo treatments are over signaling the end of that part of their journey. Check out the photo below.

I was never so happy to ring a bell in my entire life! My Chemo has ended, but my journey is not yet over.  In January I will begin 6 weeks of radiation therapy for 5 days a week.  From what I've been told, radiation therapy is a piece of cake by comparison to Chemo. And I am absolutely ready to continue down the road ....

I hope you will join me as I continue the next part of my journey.

My 3rd Chemo And The Tough Road After ( 17 )

I had my 3rd Chemo infusion on November 17th. Five days later I was admitted to the hospital because my white blood cell count had dropped dramatically. Neutropenia. I also had a low grade fever and a dry cough. The cough was the oddest thing. Very dry, almost like I had particles of dust coating my throat. BUT my lungs and chest were absolutely clear. No mucus. I didn't cough all the time. It was sporadic. Annoying as hell. Needless to say, I felt wiped out. I was pumped full of antibiotics, fluids, and shots to make sure no blood clots formed in my legs. I did feel much better in a very short time.

I couldn't wait to go home. If you have spent time in a hospital, you know why. You can't sleep. You are woken up at all hours for a pill, a shot, checking vitals, and doctor visits. I was released 2 1/2 days later. I had more antibiotics to take for 10 days and 2 different kinds of cough medicine. I really only needed cough medicine occasionally at night. The cough faded away a few days after I'd been home. I have my own theories about the ... cough. I call it "Chemo cough". After I'd been home for awhile, I did some online research. Not surprisingly, I am not the only one who had a very similar experience. Doctors don't want to hear or talk about "Chemo cough".  Oh, well. 

My 4th and final Chemo treatment is Thursday December 8.  Yay! I have been staying home more and avoiding crowds. If I do go out, I wear a surgical mask EVERYWHERE and I don't touch anything if I go into a store. Hubby goes with me all the time and does the touching. I have hand sanitizer bottles all over the house, in my purse, and in the car. I wash my hands often as well. I also wear my mask in the house if I'm petting our cat.

 The only bump in the road at the moment is my stepson has a bad cold. He WEARS a mask when he's around me. He's an adult and goes to work everyday, so we are not together all day. When he goes off to work, I use Clorox wipes and clean the TV remotes, doorknobs, refrigerator door handles, light switches, and the computer mouse and keyboard. Then I spray some Lysol into the air near the living room couch and other places in the house.

 When my stepson first came down with his cold I was almost tempted to spray him with Lysol ...but his cold got better rather quickly. Good thing for him. Hee Hee Hee ....

I'll let you know how things go after my last Chemo treatment in a week or so ....

Chemo Brain .... Not Such Fun Facts ( 16 )

              When do we have to be there? Where are we going? Why?
 CHEMO BRAIN. This is what your brain can be like when you are going through chemo treatment. Foggy, dull, fuzzy, unfocused, short attention span.  Those are just a few ways to describe what is going on in your head. 

It's not really a case of No Signal Found ...  it's more of a Loose Connection. What's going  on? What just happened here?  Did I miss something?  Simply put ... IT'S CONFUSION AND LACK OF CONCENTRATION.  And it will hit you in the strangest ways.

Just to give you an example, If you eat eggs, you probably know these are fried eggs ... over easy.  I recently went to a diner for breakfast with my hubby and couldn't for the life of me remember the term ... over easy. I was grasping for words when I spoke to the waitress. I told her, "You know, when the yolks of the eggs have a thin white cover over them." She finally figured out what I meant.  It can be so damn frustrating ....

Paying bills? Get help. When your head is swimming in Chemo Brain (my brain fog starts to set in around the 3rd day after my chemo treatment and lasts til about the 10th day) let someone else pay the bills if you can. I'm the one who usually takes care of the bills (making payments both by check and online) but when my brain is temporarily out of commission, hubby takes over. Yet, there are alternative ways to deal with this. If you can swing it, pay your bills before a chemo treatment or when the fog has completely lifted. If you can't, try to enlist a good friend or relative you trust to help you manage paying your bills.

Well, that's the scoop on CHEMO BRAIN.  My 3rd Chemo treatment is tomorrow, November 17th.  I'll let you know how things went in a week or so. 

Everything Tastes Yucky When You're Going Through Chemo! ( 15 )

Bleh! That's usually how everything tastes when you're going through Chemo. It's been 14 days since my second Chemo. I really didn't have any kind of an appetite following my first Chemo, but when I had started to feel better, at least I had no trouble eating. 

This second time around, food tasted ... awful. When I started to feel hungry around Day 5, I found that when I'd taken only one bite of something, I often would have to scrape the dish and toss the food out. Everything was trial and error. I found that things that were "sweet" were easier to eat. 

Things that seem to work:
Pancakes and syrup
muffins - really like the crumb cake topped muffin from Dunkin D. 
canned fruit - especially peaches
applesauce
hard candies
Raisin bread with jelly

Meats vary:
grilled chicken tolerable
chicken noodle soup with crackers or bread OK
SALT also became my new best friend. I am not normally a salt lover, but some foods tasted better with a good dose of salt added.

NO WAY FOODS:
beef
eggs (except hard boiled)
anything fried 

Oh, did I mention mouth sores? They really make eating very difficult. They started on Day 4 after my second Chemo. Had lovely white dots on the side of my tongue.  Salt water & baking soda rinses 4-5 times a day really helped.  The pain from the sores started to lesson by the 12th day.

Now I am 2 weeks past my 2nd Chemo and my appetite is pretty good and I am eating pretty well.  Plain water still has an after taste, but a squirt or two of MIO really helps.

Had My Second Chemo Treatment ( 14 )

Had my 2nd Chemo treatment today. I started my day with 2 steroid tabs with breakfast in the morning before leaving for my infusion scheduled for 11:00 a.m. Once I arrived at the Cancer Center and got settled, there was just one little bump in the road when the chemo nurse was setting up the IV. She had a hard time finding a vein in my hand that would feed well. Frustrated, she asked for the assistance of another chemo nurse, and the other nurse got it right away. Things went smoothly after that. I was was first given nausea meds through my IV. Then I was given a pepsid tab and a benadryl tab chaser. Moving right along, The chemo nurse then gave me my drug #1 - Cytoxan. No problems there. When the drip finished about an hour later, I was given drug #2 Taxotere.

 Taxotere is the nasty drug. It can have very unpleasant side effects at the get-go for some patients. Luckily, I had no initial problems with it ... both the first time and during my second Chemo. For me though, it makes me absolutely exhausted hours later.  

Around noon, I drank some water and had a half of PB and J sandwich I had taken to the center with me. Also had some cheese & crackers courtesy of the center.  A short while later, the chemo nurse came and talked with me about any symptoms I had experienced after my first chemo treatment. She logged everything into the computer. She also looked at my fingernails and said they looked fine. Fingernails can sometimes turn very dark and even lift off.  The very though made me cringe. My wonderful hubby was with me the whole time. He is my rock.
For about 3 hours we watched TV together ... I would occasionally nod off. That benadryl can make a person a bit loopy. 

Also had another visit from the Clown Lady. Today she was decked out in Halloween attire. Black hat, wig, dress. She told us another joke. 
"What happens when a ghost gets too close to a fire? You get a toasty ghostie!" Cute.

Also got to speak to my oncologist.  I showed her the stubble on my head and we talked about after care. She said I would be going every 6 months for a mammogram for at least the first year, maybe two. My prognosis is very very good. 

Tomorrow I will take my last 4 steroid pills for this treatment session, and I also have an appointment tomorrow morning for my Neulasta shot.  I expect I will probably have the same after effects I had after my first Chemo treatment. By the third day I will start to take a nose dive and feel really lousy for a total of about 5 days. No appetite, exhausted, sleeping a lot, Bouts of diarrhea. Then by the the 6th day I will start to perk up and feel even better every day thereafter. By day 10 I expect I'll be rockin'! And I will want to eat everything in sight.

I can do this! 2 down and 2 to go!  Then Chemo will be DONE.  Yay!

Chemo Treatment #2 Coming Up & Dealing With My Almost Bald Head ( 13 )

Well, My second Chemo treatment is tomorrow. I'm feeling a bit anxious, but not like the first time. At least I have a better understanding of what happens now. 

As you can see, I've lost most of my hair. My chemo nurse at my last visit told me I would lose most of it by my 2nd visit. Those ladies know their stuff! It was easier for me having to deal with losing my hair because my husband has buzzed it twice so far. Once right before my first Chemo treatment and, again,  about 10 days later.

  It's still coming out. I find it on my head turbans and scarves all the time.

Being almost bald is not a "look" I would want permanently, but there are a lot of interesting results. I actually like to rub the top of my head against the grain of the hair stubble. It feels really weird.  In a good sort of way.

Another odd thing is the cool breeze factor. Whenever I walk down the short narrow hall from my bedroom to the kitchen/living room without a head cover or scarf, I feel this soft rush of cool air flow across my naked head. Feels sort of like gentle blast of air conditioning hitting me right in the noggin.

They probably would deny it, but ...  Bald men must have cold heads. At least in the late fall and winter. Since I've lost most of my hair, my head is cold. A lot. Recently, I bought some 100% cotton turbans.

 They are pull-on, very soft, and great for sleeping in. They  are also great for wearing around the house and also fit well under most winter hats.  And they make great perches for parakeets.

Well, tomorrow my 2nd Chemo Treatment is another big step in My Journey With Breast Cancer. I'm hoping it might be a little easier, but I'm prepared for whatever happens. 

Tonight, we had Chinese take-out for dinner. This was the fortune I took out of my fortune cookie. Very "apropos" don't you think?

My Body And Chemo ( 12 )

 I'm now into day 11 after my 1st Chemo treatment. I feel actually good. I have energy. I am not being diet conscious at all. If I am hungry, I eat ... whatever I want. Today I was out with my hubby and bought a bag of Milano cookies ... always a weakness of mine.  It wasn't this way 11 days ago. I felt ... like I was dying.

I am not going to candy coat it. Chemo is very hard on the body.  I learned that in the first 4-5 days after my chemo. 

I couldn't eat. Had a hard time just getting water down. Everything ... ached. All I wanted to do was ... sleep.  All day. I think I showered once during that time.

I took my nausea medication, Onadestrone, religiously every 8 hours. It helped tremendously. No vomiting, thank God.  I took extra strength Tylenol for body aches when I needed to.  Even my teeth ... hurt.

Then the diarrhea set in.  Maybe it was better than vomiting.  I don't know.  Imodium became my new best friend.  Then things began to change ....

Day 6 was a "D free" day.  I slept less.  I was actually a bit hungry.  I snacked on Ritz crackers topped with a bit of whipped cream cheeze quite often. I was drinking bottles of water. And things continued along on a positive path from then on.

Today, I went for my 10 day past Chemo blood work-up.  You could say, things are looking up.  And they are. But some things are inevitable  ...

My hair (which my hubby had buzzed down for me on October 3rd) ...  is starting to fall out now.

*** Note - Not going for a mani/pedi as I had briefly mentioned above. I deleted the comment.  Will not chance the risk of infection.  ***

I Bought Some Head Scarfs ( 7 )

It's the weekend - September 24/25 and I went to the Mall.  Knowing that in all probability I was going to lose my hair, I decided to go shopping to look for some head scarfs and hats. I had done a bit of browsing online the day before, but found most of the patterns kind of boring. I'm one of those people that prefer hands on.  I looked at all kinds of scarves ... different fabrics ... patterns.  For starters I bought the 3 above. I love anything to do with gardening ... so I bought one with flowers and one with Fall leaves.  And I had to buy one with cats. My husband and I have owned many cats over the years.  Adopted ones from shelters, one that a good friend couldn't keep, and we have even taken care of ferals. We are definitely Cat People.

The search for hats will continue. The bulk of winter hats won't really hit most stores until October. Since I am a HAT person, I have plenty of winter hats in the meantime to wear.

My Chemo treatments will start on Thursday, October 6th. I've decided to have my hairdresser buzz my hair down probably sometime this coming weekend, or beginning of next week. I have short hair to begin with, so cutting it even shorter doesn't really bother me. I want to be as pro-active in my journey as I can be. By my second Chemo treatment, more than likely, I will have lost all my hair anyway. Gives me a reason to wear the most outlandish hats I can find! I'll keep you posted on my CRAZY HAT PHASE.

**** Update - My hubby buzzed my hair on Monday, October 3rd. He did a great job!

From Bread & Water To REAL FOOD ( 11 )

Water and bread (sometimes, crackers) were all I could manage to force down for days following my first Chemo Treatment. 

The smell of food was .... awful.

All I felt like doing was sleeping.  When I wasn't, I would catch bits and pieces of TV shows.  If any kind of food was shown, I rolled over and gazed out the bedroom window instead.  

The days rolled by ... the 2nd, 3rd  ...  and then I began to notice I could tolerate chamomile tea with a bit of honey. Even a piece of toast with a bit of jelly. I also was able to drink water with a few drops of MIO in it. I began to roam a bit around the house and spent less time sleeping. 

Day 7 and 8 arrived before I even realized it.  I was able to eat scrambled eggs, a ham sandwich, and some fruit.  Especially watermelon. 

Now I'm up to day 11 and I can pretty much eat whatever I want now.

Still haven't attempted ... pizza.

Two Days After My First Chemo Treatment ( 10 )

Lake Wallenpaupack, PA

It's been 2 days since my 1st Chemo Treatment.  I felt better yesterday, but today I feel achy, tired, flushed, restless .... No nausea or headaches, thank God. 

A new symptom today though ... my hips and teeth hurt a bit. Not terrible. Probably from the Neulasta shot yesterday morning. 

My appetite is better than I expected. I had a shake this morning - Chocolate Slimfast - the one with 20% protein. I added a banana and some ice and made a smoothie out of it. Later went out with hubby to pick up a few things and stopped at Dunkin Donuts and had a wrap - small wrap with ham, egg, and cheeze. 

I've been drinking water, and plenty of it. Had a peanut butter & jelly sandwich about an hour ago.

I've had a bit of Chemo Brain today.  Forgetful, can't concentrate all that well. Kind of zoned out if you will. 

Today I'm just lazing around ....

My First Chemo Treatment, The Clown Lady, And A lovely Gift ( 9 )

I had my first Chemo treatment yesterday, October 6th. Was I anxious? Well, my blood pressure when it was first taken was 155/85.  You bet you could say I was anxious. A lot of yesterday was kind of a ... blur. 

My IV was put into a vein on the top of my right hand.  Great start. Got it right away. Then came the nausea med and then some Benedryl and 2 Steroid pills - can't remember the names. Then my first chemo drug CYTOXAN. (I looked up the name for you). No problems. The nurse told me the drug would run for a little over an hour. She covered me with some warm blankies and off she went, but came back frequently to check on me. She brought us water and crackers to snack on. My hubby, my rock, sat beside me in a chair and we watched TV, some old movies on TCM. 

Chemo drug number #2. Taxotere. (looked up that name, too.) My nurse told me this one could sometimes cause a reaction for some people. She placed a blood pressure cuff on me that regulated my pressure as the drug entered my bloodstream.  The drug was administered slowly at first. My nurse, what a sweetie, told me she would be staring at me for awhile to check my reactions.  She bumped up the speed on the IV, 3 times I think, until everything was deemed fine. This drug would also run for a little over an hour.

Things became a bit foggy after that. The Benedryl really kicked in and I dozed off for brief periods.  But I do vaguely remember the nice Clown Lady who came to visit me. She had on baggy colorful clothes and a multi-colored bushy wig. She asked me would I like to hear a joke?  Sure, Ok.  I don't really remember the joke ... something about money and a buck?!

I also had 2 other visitors - two very nice social workers bearing a gift from one of the Cancer Center's former patients. It was a pretty gift bag filled with assorted things like a scarf, colored pencils, coloring books, a journal, candy, hand lotion, and other things. The former patient (who wished to remain anonymous) requested that it be given to a new patient on the day of their first Chemo treatment. It happened to be me! I was so touched. Here is the little note that was in the bag.

When my Chemo was finished, I was handed my scripts for further bloodwork. My next Chemo appointment is October 27th. I also had an appointment to go and get a Neulasta shot the next day. It's recommended to help with possible infections that may occur after Chemo.

All in all, things went well. I have filled prescriptions for nausea pills as well as Steroid pills. 

Today, October 7th ... I feel pretty good.

A Preview Of Chemotherapy ( 8 )

Chemotherapy. That's the next step for me. On Monday  (Sept. 26) I went to the Cancer Center for a brief educational tour of the Infusion center. The wing had a very open floor plan, but still afforded privacy for each patient. Each patient area had a comfortable (treatment) lounge chair, tv, chair for a companion, and access to beverages. My visit (lasting about one hour) was a one on one mini tour with an experienced Infusion floor nurse. She explained procedures to me ... side effects ...  advised me about medications I would be taking during my Chemo treatments, and answered all the questions I had.  She had also given me a packet of literature covering a wide range of information concerning chemotherapy treatment. 

When all is said and done, I left the Cancer Center feeling overwhelmed.  Maybe consumed is a better word. Fear, anger, sadness ...  I knew I would only be going for 4 treatments of chemo ... but that didn't make it any less consuming. Why was this happening to me? was all I could think of.

Another Long Day At The Cancer Center ( 6 )

Yesterday was a long day.  Went to see the whole team.  I started with the medical oncologist first.  CHEMO. I don't hate the word. It is just a word that frightens me. As she had originally told me, the doctor again recommended 4 treatments at 3 week intervals. I know it is the best recommended treatment for Triple Negative Breast Cancer. And I know that different people react differently to the treatment. I have stomach issues ... and Chemo tends to make nausea all the more intolerable. I was told about nausea medications administered during treatment and for after. Maybe I'll be one of the fortunate ones and things won't be so bad. Either way I can't do much about it. I will take each treatment as it comes.  There is really no choice here. Maybe God will give me a break with this one. It's bad enough I'll probably lose my hair. But on the plus side ... I love wearing hats! I don't know if I want to do the ... wig thing. My first treatment will be October 6th. Hopefully I will be finished about 2 weeks before Christmas.

Second stop ... the surgical oncologist.  My incisions healed beautifully. No problems except a slight allergic reaction to the bandages (actually the edges where it adhered to my skin.) Steri-strips were put on and will no doubt be falling off in a few days. Good movement in my arm and shoulder. I believe that's due to the fact that I'm left-handed and my surgery was on my left breast. Had been using my left hand and arm quite a bit during the past 2 weeks after surgery. Couldn't help it. I am VERY- LEFT HANDED ... if you know what I mean.

Third stop ... radiologist.  He explained things to me very clearly.  About a month after Chemo ends I will be seeing him 5 days a week for 6-7 weeks. He told me his patients tell him that radiation is a "piece of cake" compared to everything else. I will probably be one more patient that will be saying the same thing to him.  At least, I hope I'll be.

I guess I am ready  ....

9 Days Past Surgery ( 5 )

It's been nine days since my surgery. Most of the bruising has faded. The incisions are healing very nicely. Not a lot of pain, only twinges now and then. I did have one issue a few days later that drove me ... crazy! Blistering and itching where the edges of the bandages covering the  incisions under my arm and on the top of my breast met the skin! 

Naturally, I panicked. I called the oncology nurse and described what was going on and she made an appointment for me to come in see my surgeon on September 12th. My husband, Bill - my rock - was right beside me.

It turned out to be nothing serious. Probably a reaction to the tape edges of the bandage. My Oncology surgeon checked me over ... happy with the way everything was healing. As far as the blisters and the itching, he cut the tape away from the area that was causing my discomfort and advised me to use some Bacitracin for the blistered skin. 

I left the office feeling relieved, but found the situation hadn't really resolved itself when I followed his advice after I had gotten home. All the Bacitracin did was leave the skin continually moist and the blisters kept reforming. I decided to try another course. Twice a day I gently washed the areas and carefully patted them dry. Then I took a small bit of talcum powder and lightly dusted the areas where the tape and skin met.  Voila! Problem solved in less than two days! 

You might think I had over-reacted a bit, and I probably had - but the visit  had also ended with an unexpected bit of wonderful news. The doctor had gotten my test results back and everything was - great! My lymph nodes were unaffected by the cancer - and the margins around the removed tissue were clean! Thank you, God!

My first follow-up appointment with my team is September 20th. Wish me luck!

I've Had My Breast Cancer Surgery -Lumpectomy/Segmental Mastectomy ( 4 )

Three days have past since my surgery.  I am sore, bruised, have some swelling, and feel tugging when I move my left arm. When I look at myself, it isn't a very pretty sight.

At least I still have almost all of my left breast. The Oncology surgeon removed the cancerous lump or "tumor" as well as some of the healthy tissue that surrounded it called "margins". In my case, the surgery was a "wire-localized" lumpectomy. Because my lump could not be felt by the surgeon, prior to the surgery, under local anesthesia, a radiologist had placed a thin wire into the abnormal area in my left breast to guide in the removal of the cancerous growth during the actual surgery.

Can't forget the blue dye. The radiologist also did a Sentinel Node Mapping procedure. Also under local anesthesia, the radiologist injected a blue dye/radioactive substance into my breast above the nipple. The dye then flows to the first lymph node - The Sentinel Lymph Node. The Sentinel Lymph Node is the first node where cancer would most likely have spread. In my case, the surgeon removed two lymph nodes which would be sent out for additional testing.

After the above two procedures, I remember being wheeled out of my room and down the hall toward the operating room. Someone remarked that they were giving me some "Happy Juice" to help me relax. I remember being wheeled into the operating room ... the bright overhead lights ... and then nothing until I woke up in recovery a few hours later.

I had spent about 9 hours at the hospital in total. I arrived home about 5:30 that evening. Although I had not eaten since the day before the surgery, I was not all that hungry when I got home. I managed to eat some crackers and jello. I was actually more thirsty than anything else, but took only small sips. I didn't know how my stomach would react. During the surgery I was given drugs to control any problems with nausea. Thankfully, I had no problems then or afterward.

That night I "hurt", but did manage to sleep for short stretches. I was glad the day was over.

My Breast Surgery Is In Two Days ( 3 )

It's Monday September 5th, 2016. It also happens to be Labor Day ... the last hurrah to Summer. I'm in a low key, mellow mood. At least I'm trying to be. 

I am having a breast lumpectomy on Wednesday, September 7th.  I've had a few surgeries in my 65 years ... a gallbladder removed in 2008 and a hernia repair in 2010. Yes, women do get hernias. This upcoming surgery though is different. Guess you could say it's more ... personal. More woman defining. 

I'm trying not to dwell on it, but that's easier said than done.  I am not a religious person ... but I am a spiritual person. I trust in a higher power and that gives me ... comfort.  There are many ugly things in this world, but beautiful things far out way the ugly.  A sunrise ... a baby's smile, a flower ...  just to name a few.  I intend to enjoy the lovely things for a long, long time .... 

the sight of a Heavenly Blue Morning Glory to greet me as the day begins

and the image of a White Moon flower to brighten my spirits as the evening sets in.

The Journey Begins .... ( 2 )

My journey began on Wednesday, August 10, 2016. I was diagnosed with Stage 1 breast cancer. The week before I had a mammogram that was deemed abnormal. Further testing resulted in a breast biopsy two days after. On August 10th, 2016 I sat silent as the doctor went over my test results with me. Breast Cancer. My initial reaction ... I felt numb. I heard the words. I understood what they meant, but it was as if my doctor was talking about someone else. Yet, it was me she was speaking about. My treatment plan would begin when I met with my team on August 16th.

On August 16th I arrived at the Cancer Center with my husband, Bill. What an absolutely beautiful building. White walls, tall glass windows, curved halls. In an odd way though it reminded me of an airport terminal ... but gorgeous.

The clinical and clerical staff were all efficient, pleasant. Registration was quick and easy. The registration person was the first person I dealt with. I can't recall her name, but she was young and very nice. She had a lovely smile. As a matter of fact, all the staff seemed to be smiling ... all the time. A bit unnerving.

Then my husband and I returned to the waiting area. While sitting in a blue chair ... funny how you can remember such an unimportant detail, I noticed a woman on the other side of the large waiting area. I really couldn't estimate her age.  She wasn't elderly in my opinion, but I really couldn't tell. I looked at her for a moment or two. She was completely bald and very pale skinned. I quickly looked away. A short while later my nurse navigator greeted me and escorted my husband and myself to an exam room.

The next person I met was my intake person ... a young, smiling black woman. Can't recall her name. She took general information ... my health history, medications I took, etc. When she was finished she asked me to take off  my bra and blouse and put on a hospital gown. The gown was very short and barely fell to my waist. She said the Oncology doctor would be in shortly.

My medical Oncology doctor came and introduced herself. She was young. At least it seemed that way to me. Slender, not very tall. She had reddish, straight chin length hair. She had a light spattering of freckles across her cheeks. She spoke with a slight accent I could not discern. She was pleasant, but formal in her approach. I understood some of what she told me, but much of it was very clinical. I did get the gist of it though. In her opinion, my course of treatment should begin with surgery to remove the cancerous growth from my left breast (lumpectomy) and also to remove a few lymph nodes for further testing. 

She recommended 4 Chemotherapy treatments. The reason for the chemo was more of a precautionary nature. I was not a candidate for pills as part of my treatment because of the type of breast cancer I had - triple negative. My age and my body's negative receptive factors played greatly in her decision. She also recommended radiation treatments.

My Oncology surgeon was the next person I met. He was very friendly, warm, and patient. He asked me to tell him, in my own words, what the Medical Oncologist had told me. In simple terms I repeated what I had comprehended from the conversation I had with her. He seemed satisfied that I had a basic, but decent grasp of things. He then began to explain about the surgery, which he scheduled for September 7th. In response, I brought up a few issues I had such as needing anti-nausea medication administered during surgery since I was prone to having terrible side effects from anesthesia. He told me I would be able to discuss those concerns with the anesthesiologist before the surgery. He mentioned that a small patch placed behind the ear was the method of choice now. I thought that was pretty amazing. How things had changed since I last had any kind of surgery. As I write this today it occurred to me ... it would be similar to going on a cruise and using a patch to prevent seasickness.

The last doctor I was supposed to meet that day was the radiologist. He had a conflicting schedule and I didn't get to meet him. I expect I will meet him in due time.

During the course of the afternoon I met with 2 social workers and an oncology medical assistant. I can't recall just when I met them during my visit. Whether it was before one doctor came in ... or when another doctor left the room, I really don't know. Stress can make you easily lose track of things. All I know is that it was a very long day for me. I felt wiped out. So much information to process. Fear, anger, sadness, and self pity washed over me for the rest of the day into the night. Early the following morning as I lay in bed next to my husband I finally gave into those feelings. I cried ... and my husband held me and comforted me. 

If the stress of my breast cancer diagnosis wasn't enough, I had something else to contend with during this past week. I broke a tooth. My own dentist tried to save it, but there just wasn't enough to work with. So, I went to the oral surgeon and had it pulled 3 days later. I haven't had a tooth pulled since I was 18 and that was for the removal of 4 impacted wisdom teeth. Wisdom teeth can often be the bane of a young person's existence, but older people have their set of problems, too. Now at 65 I have to contend with teeth that can easily fracture. Not funny, God.

Rolling right along, today I had an appointment to see my gynecologist for a routine pelvic exam. She was aware of my circumstances. When the exam was finished she asked me if she could give me a hug? "I can use all the hugs I can get," I laughed as she hugged me. You might not realize it, but it's a little things, the little acts of kindness, that can make such a difference in a person's day.

I Want To Share My Journey With You ( 1 )

You may know me from my other blog "Janie's Pocono Mountain Garden". I still intend to continue writing that blog, but have also decided to start this new one, "Janie's Journey With Breast Cancer" since I was recently diagnosed with Stage 1 - Triple Negative Breast Cancer. My writing will not be very clinical or preachy. It will just reflect my feelings and emotions as I start down a path I had never anticipated. I have a long road ahead of me and this new blog will give me an outlet to express everything I am feeling whenever I need to.  I may post every day or .... maybe not for a week or more. 

Maybe tomorrow or the next day I will begin to share my journey with you. Please follow me ....

                           To help you keep track, I will number each post in the                                      POST TITLE.